Adversity=Love

It's been a while since I really wrote anything on the blog (or at least anything worth taking the time to read it). The past two weeks have brought two episodes, spiritual lows and despair, and spiritual highs and joy. I had an episode two weeks ago yesterday. I also had an episode yesterday. Between those two happenings the Lord did an amazing work. After the first episode I lost hope and faith. I had gone two months roughly without an episode. I was finally having faith that my ordeal might be over. However, God was not through with this. He still had big plans. I went into a depression after that first episode. I was feeling so sorry for myself. I could not look beyond my circumstances. I had no faith that God was hearing my prayers or that He even cared about me. Two weeks ago at church the message was on faith which was exactly what I needed to hear. The Lord changed my heart that I was desiring faith and I was seeking faith. The Lord answered my prayers. The message this last Sunday was regarding adversity. The text was Hebrews 12.

"3 Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. 4 In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5 And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?

“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
nor be weary when reproved by him.
6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and chastises every son whom he receives.”

7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8 If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9 Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."

God's love for us is shown through adversity. I know in our prosperity centered culture this may not seem to make sense. But God is drawing out sin and causing us to draw near to Him. He reveals our need for Him. When this last episode happened I had all this truth to speak to myself. I was able to fight anxiety and to trust in God. This is for my good! His word promises that this is for my good.
I was sitting there at my campus ministry listening to the message. It just hit me. I started falling asleep. I was slumped over in the seat. The person sitting next to me didn't know what was happening. He tried to wake me up. He thought I had just fallen asleep. Luckily someone who knew what was happening came over. She got people together who had been through this with me before. As I started seizing a group of guys grabbed me and took me out into the hall. I had someone holding me head and neck to keep me from hurting that. I had someone holding each arm and leg. I had a registered nurse friend walking me through it. My friends went straight to prayer! How encouraging. I got to see the body of Christ come together to care for me. God is so good. People were serving me with joy! One of my roommates got his car and the guys carried me out to it. A friend of mine came with us. He stayed the night and the next day. While I was waiting to be able to move or speak he asked specific questions about needs I might have or if I was comfortable. Later that night when I could talk he drew me out about how to best serve me when I am going through an episode. God was so kind to pour out grace in the midst of the hard time. He gave me faith that He was in control and was caring for me. This is only possible because Christ came as a man while God and lived a perfect life and died for all sin. The disobedience I had done that separated me from God was taken away by Christ once and for all. That is why I can trust in Him and why I can endure hardship. Philippians 4 is a good place to go. It is promised we can do all things through Christ. God is caring for me not just in but through this hardship. He is training me and correcting me through this trial. It is for my good! God is showing His love for me that He is not leaving me in my sin. Praise the Lord!