Savior

I was writing down some thoughts tonight in my notebook. I was basically ranting about how much I feel that I've lost myself in the past year and a half of life. Needless to say I was complaining and feeling sorry for myself. My counselor says I have to avoid the Southern "poor thing" complex. Without really thinking about it I stopped for a moment and flipped back several pages and began to read. What I read was very helpful. It was an entry from September. It was soon after my episode that broke the longest episode free streak. I was writing about my reaction to it and a dear friend's helpful advice. Anyway, to get to the point of this post, I had written about Matthew 14 when Jesus walked on the water. More specifically, when Peter stepped out in faith and screwed it up. He was bold and trusted the Lord enough to get out of the boat. The guy has me beat there for the most part! But when he got out and saw the waves he lost sight of Jesus and began to drown. The next part is the important part. Matthew 14:30, "But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, 'Lord, save me.'" He cried out. My tendency when I sink and screw up is unfortunately not first to cry out to the Lord. I want to either try to fix it, or in this case swim, or give in, or in this case sink. But the next verse is just as important. Matthew 14:31, "Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, 'O you of little faith, why did you doubt?'" The first part is most impressive to me. "Immediately" he reached in and grabbed Peter. He didn't give a lecture and then save him. He saved him first. He answered Peter's cries. I have to remember that God doesn't respond to my cries for help because of my standing with him. He answers because of Christ's standing with him imparted to me through Christ's work on the cross. I can cry out in faith. My God is mighty to save and merciful to save. He has promised grace to the humble. In humility I should cry out. It is the only way I can be saved.